We can assume that we live in a macho society, which perpetuates inequality between men and women. But that we assume it does not mean that we have to sit idly by accepting discrimination against women; on the contrary, we have to work to eradicate macho practices. And since women continue to be in charge of educating our children, precisely because macho standards so establish, the change is also in our hands.
Recognize machismo
- We can be optimistic and let our guard down in the face of the great advances that have been made in recent years in terms of equality, thinking that enough is enough. Or we can be realistic and remember the chilling data of women victims of domestic violence, which is nothing more than machismo taken to the extreme. From this point of view, much remains to be done.
- One of the biggest difficulties we find in this task of overcoming machismo is that we live immersed in it. The patriarchal system has done a good job over the centuries and it is very difficult to transform a behavior inherited for so long. That is why it is often difficult for us to recognize a macho attitude, we ignore the obvious signs of those men who are endangering our dignity and, nevertheless, we are outraged by harmless details such as opening the car door for us.
- So it is better not to go crazy analyzing each gesture of a man in search of a macho sign and focus our attention on those aspects that can harm our rights and freedoms. Preventing a woman’s access to education is very dangerous macho behavior, as is hindering her professional development, or maintaining traditional family roles, or considering her a mere sexual object for playful and reproductive purposes.
I am not sexist
- However, there are few men and fewer women who admit to being macho, perhaps not in an attempt to deceive, but because they really believe so. Because let’s not fool ourselves, men are macho, but women are too. Surely you know a woman who boasts of her luck for being with a man who “helps” her with the housework. The moment you acknowledge that they help you, you are assuming that the responsibility is yours alone and not shared, as it should be.
- Special care must be taken with those masculine attitudes of rejection, distance and hostility that are produced when the traditional roles are changed, when the woman earns more than the man, when the man remains unemployed and has to act as “master of home”, or when he hides his frustrations and fears in inconsiderate gestures or aggressiveness.
- The question that arises very often is what to do if we are dealing with a macho man. The truth is that we know that a man cannot be changed and that it is very likely that we will never find a man who is not macho, so we will have to introduce the new rules little by little. Of course, if you perceive that his macho attitude is turning into disrespect, get as far away as you can.