Christmas is a time of year that can be a good time to meet loved ones, to celebrate, enjoy the decorated streets… However, it can also be a delicate time, in which people who are no longer there are remembered. between us, or that, due to our personal circumstances, we have to spend in solitude. And loneliness not chosen can hurt a lot, and can also generate a feeling of emptiness.
In addition, and on the other hand, we can feel a sense of emptiness even when we are with the family… for example, and as we said, if someone important is missing from the table (a loved one who has passed away, a person who is no longer in our lives due to to a breakup, a daughter who is living on the other side of the world, etc.). In these cases, we can also feel empty and sad, since our mind associates Christmas with a festive and happy time that clashes with reality, which is that we find ourselves (or feel) alone, for whatever reasons.
In this article we will talk about some key ideas to deal with this feeling of emptiness at Christmas, either because we don’t have family, because we are far away, because we come from a recent breakup, because we don’t feel like being with anyone on these special dates… How to overcome those lonely Christmases?
4 key tips to spend Christmas alone
As we said, Christmas is not easy for everyone. Whatever situation you are in, and however you live this Christmas, it is important that you allow yourself to feel these emotions that you are feeling. Remember, emotions always have their reason for being, even if they are sometimes unpleasant. Walk through them, give them their space…
Yes, indeed! Also look for ways to channel these emotions that are healthy for you; look for activities that distract you, ways that allow you to improve your mood a little… Remember, feeling and facing the situation, making it easier to navigate, are not incompatible actions. For this reason, we give you some ideas to face this Christmas alone or alone in the best possible way and to be able to overcome this feeling of emptiness if you have it.
Connect with the present: maybe you can enjoy it
- As we said, although it is important to validate our emotions on these dates, allow ourselves to feel nostalgic, sad, melancholy… and remember that everything we feel is fine, it is also important to be able to connect with the present. Because the present brings us back to the “now”, to what is still there, to what is still worth living… although sometimes it is hard for us to realize or identify it.
- And it is that it may not be the Christmas you expected, the one you would have wanted… But it is your Christmas, and you will not go through it again. Therefore, even if a part of you is still connected with the past, or with those people who are no longer there, allow yourself to invest a little of your present in what is happening now, just for the mere fact that you will never live this Christmas again.
- Thus, connect with your present, whatever it is. Observe your reality, your environment… Is there really nothing that makes you connect with illusion or enjoyment? Even if it’s not something Christmas?
Call that person
- Another idea that can help you deal with this feeling of emptiness that sometimes arises at Christmas is to call that person you haven’t talked to in a long time. It can be a relative, a childhood friend, a special person, or even an acquaintance. A person with whom you want to talk, or who you want to know about.
- Even if you are too lazy to call her, or afraid because you fear that “it has been too long”… give yourself the opportunity to open your heart in this moment of solitude, and to wish Christmas wishes to someone around you who may also be having a Christmas complicated.
- You will see how this small action connects you with the other, and allows you to get out of this feeling of emptiness for a while.
Create your own memories: make a different Christmas
- A small exercise that can help you overcome the feeling of emptiness at Christmas is to create your own memories of this year. You can opt for a different Christmas, replacing the Christmas carols with cane and fun music, for example.
- Do a horror movie marathon at home, go out into the street with your camera in hand to photograph whatever you want, get into bed with a good novel, go to a bar and start dancing, sign up for volunteering in a soup kitchen, take a little getaway, go hiking… Make this Christmas something different, take you away from tradition and the idea of ”Christmas with the family”.
- Not because it’s wrong to miss this feeling, but because perhaps this is how you’re giving yourself the opportunity to live your own Christmas, with a less tinge of sadness. You deserve to enjoy these days, even if it is in a different way and only with yourself.
Let solidarity flourish
- Ok, maybe it’s not the moment when you feel that seed of solidarity inside you the most, and it’s normal. But we invite you to think about it. And it is that, the truth is that solidarity allows us to connect with our most human part, the one that is usually closely related to people.
- Humanity brings us closer to the other, it makes us get out of that feeling of loneliness and emptiness that we often feel, especially before a lonely Christmas. For this reason, we encourage you to let solidarity flourish in you; We can rescue from the previous point, for example, the fact of signing up for volunteering in a soup kitchen.
- It may not be the Christmas you expect, but it is a way of not facing this Christmas alone, of doing something for the other, of living Christmas in a different way, from the side of the most vulnerable people and who are also in a situation similar to ours. You have many options, such as picking up toys, delivering gifts to those most in need, giving clothes and food to food banks, keeping elderly people company who are alone…
- Through solidarity actions you will give yourself the opportunity to contribute wealth to the community, to care for others and learn from them, to learn to value what you have, to create networks, to give less importance to material things…
The importance of self-love to face a lonely Christmas
- Spending a lonely Christmas, either because we feel like being alone, because we are older and have no family left, because our family is far away… it can lead us to a feeling of emptiness. And it is clear that behind each situation, there is a story, a cause, different emotions…
- And we must respect it. But, whatever your case, it is important that you remember one thing: everything that you live in this world is created by you, and it is something that will be part of you. And this is independent of anyone who can share this path with you, for a while.
- You are the only person who will live with you every Christmas, and for this reason, you deserve to cultivate self-love and find the way in which this Christmas hurts less and, in addition, can become something beautiful to remember.
- ” Loneliness may not be the most pleasant situation, but it can make you grow”
-Anonymous-