The objective of any type of communication is to transmit a message so that another person receives it. It seems simple, but we don’t always receive that message correctly because we don’t know how to listen. In reality, we have known the act of listening since before we were even born, since from the sixth month of pregnancy the baby recognizes the voice of her mother. Later, by the time we learn to speak, we have spent many months listening to everything that surrounds us, and yet, once we learn to speak, there is no stopping us and we forget that sometimes we also have to listen.
The importance of listening to others
- When we talk to another person, we are more aware of what we are going to say than of what they are telling us, and that is a problem when it comes to maintaining good communication because most of the speech is lost along the way. Although it is very important to know how to speak in public and for this you can find a multitude of seminars and courses, it is even more important to know how to listen to others, something that brings us innumerable benefits at a professional, personal and social level.
- Knowing how to listen is key so that the other person can trust you and consider you as an equal. If you pay attention to what your interlocutor is saying, if you show your interest by nodding and asking questions, if you look them in the eye while they speak and if you don’t interrupt, you are more likely to create a climate of trust that favors communication. Imagine how you can benefit from that attitude in a work meeting, in a couple discussion or in a family chat.
- Because most of the problems that can lead you to lose your job, that can end your relationship or a friendship that has lasted for years, arise from misunderstandings due to poor communication. And for good communication it is more important to know how to listen than to know how to speak.
Why don’t we listen
- The question that is most often asked, given the importance of knowing how to listen in social relationships, is why don’t we listen? The reasons are very varied and range from internal psychological processes to environmental factors. If we are tired, if we have not slept well, if we are uncomfortable because it is cold or hot, or our shoes are pinching, if we are thinking about a problem and we are confused… There are countless reasons why we do not just listen to the other person.
- But the main reasons why we don’t listen correctly are fear, intolerance and lack of interest. Fear of being influenced by what they are telling us and making us change our minds. Intolerance towards the ideas of others because we tend to think that ours are the only correct ones. And lack of interest because we consider the contribution of others dispensable.