One of the most crucial stages in a person’s life is childhood. And it is that important aspects of our personality are consolidated in it, and it is not even risky to affirm that our mental health depends to a great extent on what happens in those first years of life.
Childhood traumas can occur for a variety of reasons and it is important to address them so that they do not develop as problems in adulthood. But, what are the keys to know if we have a childhood trauma? In this article we tell you the most obvious signs, as well as the most effective treatment to overcome them.
What is childhood trauma?
- When we talk about childhood traumas, we refer to events or situations that have been painful for the child and that have left him with a kind of emotional wound that he may or may not have managed to heal in his adulthood.
- When this wound doesn’t heal, it continues to hurt. But growing up we don’t experience it in the same way. In fact, it is quite common for adults not even to remember what caused these injuries and even to be unaware of having them.
- Growing up, untreated childhood traumas evolve. They are becoming other types of problems that affect various dimensions of people’s lives. It can be in physical health problems, difficulties in interrelating with others, low self-esteem, insecurities, aggression, altered moods, etc.
How can I develop childhood trauma?
The reasons why childhood traumas can occur are varied and respond to differences in each particular case. Some are evident and are due to highly negative events that have occurred during the first years.
But it is important to highlight the fact that not all childhood traumas are due to events obvious to others. They can even develop from some event that is unimportant to adults but that from the child’s point of view has been something very bad.
The different types of attachment during childhood are a determining factor for the appearance of traumas. In cases where attachment is insecure, the chances of developing trauma are much higher than in cases of secure attachment.
Who is most at risk for childhood trauma?
There is no infallible formula to determine whether or not a person will develop some type of childhood trauma, as this responds to aspects of their own personality, their perception of events, the environment in which they develop and the type of relationships they have, to mention some of the factors involved.
- However, there are some cases in which the risk of childhood trauma is higher. We are talking about:
- People who have been victims of any type of violence (physical, verbal, psychological, etc.), either at home, at school or in other spaces.
- Being humiliated or rejected during childhood. This includes parents, family members, teachers, classmates, friends, etc.
- Those who have experienced traumatic situations such as wars, accidents or natural disasters.
- Experiencing unresolved grief processes or sudden deaths.
- Abandonment by parents or caregivers. Not only the physical abandonment, but also the emotional one. It is not enough to just be a present figure in the lives of children.
- Victims of sexual abuse.
- Coming from families in which alcohol or drug use is present.
- Experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety and not having the support of a guide person to manage it.
- Seeing violence towards others (even if you don’t experience it yourself).
- Divorces or difficult separations within the family core.
How do I know if I have childhood trauma? primary keys
In some cases, it is easy to identify whether or not childhood traumas have been experienced. Mainly in those life situations in which negative shocking events were experienced. But not in all cases it becomes evident to have a childhood trauma. If you think you may have traumas from your childhood, pay attention to these indicators that can guide you in this regard:
Anger takes over you
If you frequently feel annoyed for whatever reason and tend to have a very bad temper but you can’t explain why, it’s important that you inquire a little about what you experienced in your childhood. Anger in adulthood is one of the main signs that there is an unhealed wound.
Have you experienced eating problems?
Many people channel their emotions through food, not knowing how to do it otherwise. For this reason, childhood traumas are often found in people who experience some type of eating disorder.
Your self-esteem is low
Childhood injuries often have a highly negative effect on people’s self-esteem. It is common to feel undervalued, incapable or less than others. You also have to pay attention to those with high negative self-esteem who believe they are superior to others (it may be a way of compensating).
You don’t know how to react to conflict
For people with childhood trauma it is difficult to know how to manage their emotions in the face of conflicts, which is why two tendencies can be observed: one is towards the total avoidance of any conflict or the constant search for it.
Unsafety
Constantly living in fear, inhibiting yourself from doing, thinking and saying what you want is a sign to watch out for. This is also evident in those people who constantly apologize for everything they do.
Ways to overcome childhood traumas: the importance of therapy
- To overcome childhood trauma, the first thing we must do is become aware of the existence of a wound that has been there for a long time. This is not an easy or pretty process, but it will be worth going through in order to heal.
- Healing involves making a journey of introspection within ourselves, to childhood, to the -or- the moment that generated that damage that continues today. For this, it is necessary to have the guidance of a qualified person for this task.
- It is essential that you seek help from a qualified therapist for this task, since addressing childhood injuries is a fairly complex and delicate matter that requires the responsible work of a professional who knows what they are doing.
- This process can be quite challenging and complicated, but we guarantee that the entire journey will be worth it for the result of being able to heal that wound. What happened is not going to disappear, but we can resignify it and see it from another point of view, from one that no longer hurts us so much and with which we can live.
- With therapy you can heal that wound; and yes, there will be a scar, but already healed, and it will be the reminder of how strong you are and of everything you have managed to overcome and that has made you a better version of yourself.