Give up or stay? Although it is a bit hard to believe, there are times when psychological therapy, far from helping us overcome our conflicts, seems to only get us stuck in one place without moving forward. There are even times when we can feel uncomfortable and intimidated in each session, causing us to no longer have any motivation to continue attending. Question that is completely different from the true objective of psychological therapy.
Is this happening to you? Do you think your psychologist doesn’t help you? What to do about this situation? In this article we help you recognize the signs that a psychologist is a bad therapist and we give you the keys to know if your therapy is working for you or if you should change to another. Pay a lot of attention! Your mental health is at stake!
How to know if psychological therapy is helping you
- It is important to clarify that, for a therapy to work properly, there must be a real commitment on the part of the patient. First of all, the guidelines to follow with the therapist must be established, including the rights and duties of each one towards the other.
- What does this commitment refer to? In essence, it is based on complying with all the guidelines that both have established at the first moment of meeting. For the intervention to be successful, the patient must comply with a series of assignments that will lead him to face his problems and conflicts to finally seek an internal balance.
- However, these assignments put pressure on the patient, which often causes him to give up for fear of change, and this completely frustrates any positive result that is to be achieved. However, this failure in commitment may come from the psychologist himself and it may be the therapist himself who is seriously affecting and retarding the patient’s improvement.
Is my psychologist good or should I change to another?
- In the first sessions, it is sometimes very difficult to know if the therapy is really having an effect or not, since it is a very slow process and the results appear over time and with the passage of each session. This does not mean that there are some people who, from the first session, notice significant changes in their perception and way of seeing things.
- The truth is that you have to be very patient, but without losing sight of the fact that when this feeling of disorientation persists and the objectives that were set at the beginning are not perceived, both within the office and in the patient’s daily life, then you want to say that something is not going well.
- It is also important to take into account how we feel, if instead of having an improvement, feelings of apprehension, guilt or discomfort increase, something is definitely not going well.
- And what happens if we do not get the expected results? The first thing you should do is discuss it with your therapist. It is the only way to really know why there is no noticeable improvement for you as a patient. Ask them to talk about it and find a solution together.
- In the event that the latter does not work and you feel that your psychologist is not providing you with any benefit, it is best to end the therapy with him (do not be afraid to express it to him) and go to another specialist who is more suited to your needs.
7 signs that will help you recognize a bad therapist
- Egocentrism
If in consultation your therapist completely ignores your presence, always putting himself first, talks about himself or does not seem an expert on your problem, you will not obtain a beneficial result.
- Judge and executioner
As we have mentioned before, if each session instead of helping you overcome your fears or insecurities, seems to highlight your failures by judging you and making you feel guilty, you are not doing a good job.
- Cross the line
Sometimes psychologists tend to over-explore patients, to the point of being a bit invasive, but this is done with the purpose of breaking their resistance. But if your therapist misses the professional goal of therapy and veers off to other more personal issues or shows an intimate approach, you should definitely stop coming to his or her office.
- Downplays you
Regardless of the type of problem of a patient, this represents a serious conflict for him, for which his importance, meaning or impact should never be diminished, since that is to belittle the patient’s feelings.
- Impose your opinion
Psychologists have the task of guiding the patient towards a positive change, but never imposing a path based on our personal opinion, since this is only a sign of putting moralism before the real needs of the patient.
6. Bad communication
A good therapist-patient connection is essential for effective development in therapy and this is achieved with assertive communication, so if the only thing that exists with your psychologist are misunderstandings, discussions and little understanding, it is not a good environment to improve.
- Talk about other patients
Privacy is extremely necessary in this area, that is, for that we attend therapy. But if your psychologist talks shamelessly about his other patients, he is not an ethical professional.
Let’s remember that, although psychological work is emotionally strong, in the end it leaves us with a sensation of relief that, as the days go by, makes us feel that we no longer carry those exhausted burdens with us. The sessions may be intense, but the positive results make it all worth it.