If a relative or close friend has ever told you the famous phrase “what you have to do is go out more” it is because you have been locked up at home for a while, isolating yourself from others, without wanting to see anyone or do anything. Although sometimes it’s not about what you want, but about what you don’t feel capable of doing. Regardless of the danger of giving this type of advice to a person with depression or anxiety, it is important that you realize that if you do not feel like leaving the house, it is because you have a problem that you must treat. Isolating yourself at home is dangerous and it will not solve your situation, but no one better than us to understand why you find yourself unable to open the door and go out.
Why don’t you want to leave the house?
It should be noted that there are also many people who do not like social life very much and are very homely, they prefer to do activities at home and need many moments of solitude to be with themselves. There is no problem in this case, it is a matter of preference and you are not avoiding or evading anything. And, of course, they are not limited in their daily functions.
The alarm goes off when your need to be at home or, rather, not to go out considerably reduces your social and family life and can even harm your work life. Don’t you want to see anyone? Don’t want to leave home? Pay attention because you may be facing a major problem.
Do you suffer from depression?
Depression is the most common reason people stay at home. A depressive disorder takes away strength, desire and motivation, among many other things. And what you least want is to leave home and see people when you find yourself in a state of hopelessness and physical and mental exhaustion.
An anxiety disorder won’t let you leave the house
Anxiety problems, which sooner or later become familiar with depression and vice versa, are also one of those frequent reasons why you don’t want to leave the house or see anyone. In both the case of depression and anxiety, there is a mixture of reasons for isolation. On the one hand, the exhaustion produced by these two situations, but there is another just as important: the misunderstanding that your emotional state generates in other people.
Agoraphobia: fear of going outside
If you suffer from agoraphobia, for example, it is inevitable that you have this fear of leaving the house. What you decide is to avoid the situation that causes fear, so the best way to avoid it is to stay locked in your house that gives you security.
Grief for the death of a family member or someone close
If you have recently lost a family member, the grieving process may also keep you at home. It is normal and even healthy, but make sure that this social isolation does not last over time.
Existential crisis: a reason for not wanting to leave home
Or you may not want to leave the house or see anyone at specific moments of vital reconstruction. When you feel lost, when you can’t find the meaning of life, when you are suffering too much stress and need a break, a break from everything.
Reasons why you don’t want to see anyone
- One thing is not wanting to leave the house and another thing is not wanting to see anyone, although most of the time one leads to the other. If you lock yourself up at home because you are suffering from an emotional disorder or because you are having a bad time, the last thing you need is that advice that comes with a lot of love and better intentions but that sinks you a little deeper into the well.
- Your mother, your sister or your best friend will tell you that you have to get out of the house. “You have to”. And you know it, but what you don’t know is how to do it because you don’t have the strength left for anything other than emotionally surviving one more day. We understand you, but not everyone manages to empathize with this situation and they can make you feel guilty , which is an extra weight that you cannot carry at this time.
But we all know that we need social relationships, right? You can start by inviting those people from your social circle who are more understanding to your home.
The risks of not leaving home
- What at first may seem like a security measure, not leaving the house because you feel unwell, can become your worst enemy and an obstacle for you to get ahead in your situation. The risk of loneliness is evident, people eventually stop calling you because you always say no to everything and there comes a time when you feel like you can’t count on anyone. But don’t completely believe it, surely there are people around you who are waiting for you to ask for help.
- It is precisely thought that suffers the most from isolation at home. All pictures of depression and anxiety are accompanied by obsessive and distorted thoughts. And not contrasting the world with anyone else, all it does is magnify those thoughts until they become a monstrous mass that does not let you see reality.
- Over time, not wanting to leave the house can make you neglect some work and family obligations, but the risk occurs above all inside you. Your life is limited in all aspects, your self-esteem is reduced because you do not see yourself capable of going out and finally your mind and your body normalize that isolation.
What to do to recover your spirits and leave home
- And not wanting to leave the house is neither normal nor healthy. You know you have to go out, but how to do it? If you find yourself in this situation, the best idea is to go out at least to see a psychologist and help you find the cause of this supposedly voluntary isolation. But beyond the psychologist there are some things you can do for yourself.
- In the first steps you don’t have to ask anyone around you for help if you don’t want to. But make the decision to go out today (don’t think about the rest of the days) for a walk around the block. Maybe go buy bread. That’s it, you don’t have to do more. Simply saying good morning to the bread seller is a huge step.
- Now don’t try to do feats like attending a massive concert with all your friends. Follow step by step the return to real life. Slowly. First invite a friend home and tell her that it’s not that you don’t want to leave the house, that what happens is that it costs you a world. Your best friend will shake your hand and you can go to the park for a walk or to a place that you like and where you feel comfortable. You don’t have to spend the whole afternoon outside, just a moment is enough.
- Little by little, with the help of the psychologist and your closest environment, you will be able to recover your social activity or your life outside the home. Don’t set big goals, but small steps. Go to the supermarket and shop slowly without running away, call a friend at coffee time to have it in a quiet place with few people, or invite two of your friends to eat at your house.
- You will see how by relating to someone other than your own thoughts, your perspective is transforming, your weight is becoming lighter and colors begin to appear in the midst of so much darkness. But remember, when an emotional disorder comes into your life, the best way to combat it is with the help of a professional.