I know that many of you also know that going to the psychologist is one of the most significant decisions, not only because of admitting that you have a problem that is affecting your daily life, but also because we know that said problem cannot be solved by if alone, but with the help of a professional therapist. Regardless of whether it is a personal issue, a fear to face or to regain motivation in day-to-day performance.
But… how to communicate to the family that you need psychological help? Unfortunately, some still believe that going to a psychologist is synonymous with “being crazy” or having a mental illness, generating more anxiety and insecurity in people, who end up giving up going to therapy.
Many of these negative comments come from friends and acquaintances, but the vast majority come from the same family nucleus and that is severely painful. For this reason, in this article we give you some guidelines so that you can tell your parents that you need a psychologist. Dad, mom, I need help. Do not wait another minute!
Can the family negatively influence when going to therapy?
- Eye! This is not a rule that is always followed, your parents, grandparents or siblings may support you in going to the psychologist, coming to encourage you and celebrate your progress with you (which is something that is always recommended for the benefit and improvement of the patient). However, there is also the opposite pole: families that are upset and even offended by the fact that a member of them attends psychological therapy.
- Because? Simply because they perceive it as a failure on their part: “If my son wants to go to a psychologist, is it because I made a mistake as a mother? Why do you go to the psychologist to complain? Haven’t we raised you well and given everything? ” This is a clear reflection of narcissism on the part of the parents, but you must understand something if this is your case: this has nothing to do with you!
- So, even if it bothers you, shake off your resentment and doubts, tell them you won’t change your mind, go to therapy and talk about it with your psychologist or psychologist.
Tips to tell your parents that you want to go to the psychologist
Bluntly face your parents directly
The best way is to tell your parents directly that you are going to psychological therapy because you need it. Tell them the reason why you want to attend, what that problem makes you feel, how it affects your life and that is why you want to tackle it at the root to be calm and move on.
Do not try too hard explaining the reasons why you need a psychologist
Relax and take a deep breath, one of the great causes of anxiety that I have seen throughout my career, is the frustration of not expressing feelings “well” or giving explanations. Don’t worry, you can also solve that in therapy, but don’t let that anxiety control you by telling your parents that you need to go to the psychologist.
If they ask you for a reason, just tell them that you don’t feel well and you don’t know how to explain it to them, but that it’s something you need to fix.
Don’t bear the blame of others
This is especially directed for the cases of negative families that I mentioned previously. If your parents or any other member starts to question your decision, don’t let them make you feel bad. Get up without arguing, clarify that you will not change your decision because it is something personal, that has nothing to do with them and walk away calmly, go do some activity that relaxes you and do not miss your consultation.
Don’t let your parents minimize your problems
Another scenario related to the previous case may occur, instead of blaming themselves, your parents may downplay your problems as ” Being depressed is common at your age”, “If you are so busy of course you are stressed it is normal”, “Don’t be dramatic, that will pass soon.” You can answer that, although it is common for them, for you it represents a great difficulty that is harming your performance because you don’t know how to handle it, which is why you need specialized help.
Plan what you will say
If you are very messy and your tongue gets tangled when explaining or you are very nervous, you can apply content organization techniques to clarify your ideas and thus have an effective conversation thread with your parents. You can use mental maps, brainstorm, find information about your problem and make a short presentation. Anything that decreases your anxiety and makes you feel in control of your conversation.
Don’t overthink
Overthinking leads us to procrastinate, develop more stress, and fall into a negative spiral that, if it becomes a habit, can be difficult to break out of. So just get down to business: sit your parents down and tell them what’s going on. It is normal for them to have alarming reactions and worries, but telling them that you are going to therapy to solve your problems will put them at ease.
Pick a good time to tell your parents you need a psychologist
I don’t mean choosing the “perfect moment” because that doesn’t exist, it’s just an excuse not to do it. But do be careful when you go to break the news. For example, it is not the same to do it just when your parents get home from work than to do it when they are relaxed. In the latter case, you will be able to have their full attention and they will listen to you completely.