Nostalgia, that feeling that what we had was better, is an inevitable emotion and also overrated in certain environments. The figure of the creative genius invaded by nostalgia, dissatisfaction, melancholy and with a permanently tormented character may be perfect for leaving the world fruitful creative work, but on a daily basis, in real life, nostalgia is one of the the biggest impediments to being happy.
Why does nostalgia invade us?
- And since we are determined to leave behind the moments of dissatisfaction and learn to enjoy life, we have no room in our minds for more nostalgia than the purely necessary, such as delighting in the memories of that cruise, of the university parties and spending a Sunday afternoon commenting on old photographs. Everything else is left out.
- Left out is the longing for that time when we still thought we were going to be happy, and the years we spent carefree about the mortgage and bills. The lack of responsibilities and the crazy and unconscious nights are left out. It also leaves out that feeling of missing someone who is no longer with us, with such intensity that we drown. And of course, that ex-boyfriend who broke our hearts is left out.
- And we are going to ignore that melancholy for the years gone by and the lost laughter, as well as the anguish of an uncertain future and the suspicion that the life we were promised was a scam. As we are also going to ignore that shame for the mistakes made and that guilt for not having reached as high as others expected. Because any past time was not better, it is not even yet to come.
Avoid nostalgia
- The best of our life is happening now, so let’s give it away from any nostalgia or sadness. And we can’t let anguish and frustration stand between us and the happiness we deserve. If we have made mistakes in the past, now is the time to take advantage of what we learned from them. And if in the past we were happier because we had fewer worries, now we are going to enjoy all the experience we have gained more.
- But we have to be very clear about our goal in life: to be happy. And define what that means for us. To find out, nothing better than to start doing everything you like, surround yourself with people who love you and leave behind any feeling of guilt for seeking your well-being. If others prefer to live under the conditions set by others, you are not obliged to do so.
- An indication that you are leaving nostalgia behind is if you discover that you have recovered the illusion and have found new dreams to fulfill. The time you spend smiling or talking about pleasant things with others also says a lot about your progress in terms of happiness. So make a list with your daily moments of well-being, facing those moments of nostalgia and, little by little, erase elements of melancholy.