Few women feel emotionally free to express and manifest the fear that breastfeeding causes them, at various levels. In order to maintain your mental health in this delicate moment, it is important to be able to recognize, accept, normalize and express this primitive and basic emotion: “fear”, due to the sense of protection and security it offers us.
Fear is sometimes produced by having heard fateful stories in which breastfeeding did not work or simply by having experienced firsthand breastfeeding that failed to continue.
It is for all these reasons that in this article we talk about the fear of breastfeeding to give visibility to this common emotional difficulty with the aim of teaching you to recognize it and help you manage fears when breastfeeding with some advice that will be of great help to you. aid.
Why do you feel afraid while breastfeeding?
- Already from pregnancy (or even before) you will want to give the best to your baby. It is for this reason, and for the corresponding and adequate medical prescriptions, that you will carry out a review of what you eat, the activities you do, and how you feel emotionally. To offer him the best welcome, to make him feel comfortable, safe and happy, you will prepare your child’s room with great enthusiasm, you will choose a stroller in which he will feel comfortable, a safe seat for the car, etc.
- Among these aspects, you will also value and contemplate the possibility of breastfeeding your baby when it is born. And it is that, as a mother, you will always do what you think is best for your baby… despite the fact that, sometimes, you do not feel that it is the best for you. For this reason, the issue of breastfeeding is so delicate.
- We think that motherhood is a path of roses, however, on many occasions it is not so much. Concerns begin from the moment we receive the “expected positive” that confirms that we are pregnant. And in some cases even before.
- The images transmitted to us by the media and other advertising media about motherhood transmit smiles, happiness, serenity,… This leads us to think that our level of well-being will be maximum from the first to the last moment. However, in many cases this situation does not coincide with reality. If you are pregnant, have just given birth or are breastfeeding, you will be under the influence of a true hormonal revolution that can sometimes play tricks on you.
Hormones related to lactation
- The main hormones related to the lactation process are oxytocin and prolactin. Both are produced and secreted by the pituitary gland.
- The so-called “love hormone”, oxytocin, is responsible for inducing uterine contractions to facilitate childbirth and stimulate milk secretion. In addition, it is in charge of the emotional bond between the mother and the baby (attachment and emotional crush between the two). In order for a woman to secrete oxytocin, she has to feel pleasure and a certain level of serenity and confidence.
- Prolactin rises in the blood when our body prepares to breastfeed or when we feel stressed. It is also responsible for our emotional sensitivity.
- All this hormonal and emotional panorama is under which our baby is gestated and born, and which we must learn to manage in order to face breastfeeding in optimal conditions. And it is more than proven that breastfeeding has many benefits and advantages for our / or daughter / or, and also for you as a mother, but our emotions have a lot to do with the process.
The role of fear during breastfeeding
- There are several fears that arise in the breastfeeding period. On the one hand, there is the fear of being judged if you fail or even decide not to breastfeed (even if your decision is based on physical or emotional discomfort). On the other hand, we are influenced by the fear of being criticized if you opt for the “on demand” type of breastfeeding and you have to breastfeed your child when he needs it and asks for it and you are not alone or you are in an infrequent place. appropriate.
- There is also the fear that the shape or size of both your breast and your nipple are not adequate to secrete enough milk or that the quality of it is not good.
- Does your fear make any sense? Well of course yes. Fear is an emotion that protects us. You want to offer all the best to your baby and it is undeniable that breastfeeding has many advantages. But breastfeeding is not innate for the mother and we must learn to do it respecting our style, connecting with our ideals and setting limits. All of this at a time of maximum vulnerability when experiencing a situation that is often new to us: motherhood, with all that it entails.
- An added risk factor is having heard or experienced a story of failure in the lactation process. But you can also count on protective factors that will lead you to successful breastfeeding, such as having adequate social support (from your partner or your mother). The recommendation in this sense is to start dealing with this issue before your baby is born, since you will have more time and calmer. The support of your environment is essential on an emotional and physical level, specifically so that you can rest.
How can you manage your fear of breastfeeding?
Whether or not you decide to breastfeed your baby, use your fear to prepare. If you freely decide to breastfeed your baby, it will help you feel better prepared and fight your fears:
- Train yourself: choose a course that has good opinions, taught by a professional who is an expert in breastfeeding and that suits your time availability. This course will give you tools to deal with breastfeeding properly.
- Search and consult, before your baby is born, breastfeeding support groups, either online or in person.
- Identify your fears, name them and identify the thoughts associated with them. Now ask yourself if those thoughts are real or based on limiting beliefs or failure stories that have been passed on to you. Look for success stories that “demystify” those fears or beliefs.
- Accept your fear as an “ally” in the protection plan for your baby.
- Work on your inner language. Try to be kind to yourself and always positive.
- Empower yourself and foster your feeling of self-efficacy: trust yourself. To do this, in addition to training and “looking for allies” (your partner, your mother, your sister,) at the slightest difficulty you can go to a midwife or pediatrician who encourages breastfeeding. They will help you identify if the baby’s grasping posture is the one that makes the process difficult.
If, on the other hand, you decide or decide not to breastfeed your baby (because in the end it’s a matter of two if you have a partner), work on the reasons that led you to make that decision and on an assertive communication style to defend your reasons if the case arises. Strengthen those arguments in your mind and give them strength. Remember that only you (or you) own your life and your decisions.