When children are young, parents hope that they will never grow up or that they will stay with them forever. But despite those desires, life is full of stages, cycles or phases, whatever you want to call it, and it is inevitable that the child grows, develops, relates and flies from the nest.
Sooner or later the time comes when the children become independent, whether it is to live alone, get married, study abroad or take on a new job in a different city. This emancipation is part of the natural cycle of life, it is something vital to continue growing personally and the right to choose to live the way you want. On the other hand, this new stage may have negative repercussions on the family, and more specifically, in the parents. It is what is known as the empty nest syndrome.
What is empty nest syndrome?
- This syndrome is defined as a feeling of emptiness and loneliness when children leave the family home. This effect is more common among women, due to the strength of the ties that bind them to their children, although it can also occur in men. The anguish generated by this new situation can lead to feelings of loss, uselessness or sadness , and it is difficult to quantify how long its effects may last, depending on the character and strength of the person.
- Feeling these emotions is normal, since parents were used to living with their children, they had a habit and a life routine with them, which now needs to be changed and fill that gap with new activities.. If there is still a child in the home, this process can be lighter, but if all the children have emigrated, it is much more accentuated.
- If the situation overwhelms you, do not be afraid to ask for help and take refuge in your partner, friends or family . This new stage needs external advice, and above all, to think that the relationship with the children has not ended, but that now it is different and even so, it can also be fruitful and can even help to consolidate it. Parents continue to have the possibility of being in contact with them and becoming a point of support to listen to them, help them and play the same role as parents, but adapted to a new situation because both have grown and the relationship is no longer equal.
What to do to fill the void?
- This change causes parents to have to adapt to a new situation. It is interesting to realize the free time they have now and take advantage of this opportunity to do what they never could: resume old projects, practice a sport, participate in various activities, be part of a common interest group, collaborate with a foundation or NGO, etc. In short, doing everything that keeps them distracted and brings a new meaning to life.
- This phase is another magnificent opportunity to achieve self-development and take stock of the time lived. There is still time to focus on your personal career and direct it towards those goals that make you feel fulfilled and fulfilled. In addition to looking at yourself, it is also time to share with your partner, analyze and redefine the relationship. Under normal conditions, when children leave the family bed, there is a stabilization of the marital relationship, since they focus more on sharing activities, talking and making the most of their time together.
- Being aware of reality will help overcome the feeling of sadness and emptiness. Just like parents once flew to freedom, they must assume and understand that it is the law of life that their children do the same, looking for their future and what makes them feel best.