Have you ever wondered where your mind is on a day to day basis? What have you already done or lived? In memories? In the future, expectations and illusions? Or at the present time?
The truth is that the people who enjoy life the most are usually those who are more focused on what is happening to them than on what has already happened or what will happen to them. That is, people focused on the current moment.
Do you feel like you’re stuck in the past? Why can it happen? What dangers does this entail and how can we reconnect with the present? We talk about it!
The 4 dangers of staying stuck in the past
What are the dangers of staying stuck in the past? We describe 4 of them.
You become a spectator of your life
One of the dangers of getting stuck in the past is that by doing so, you automatically become a spectator of your own life. You stop living your life as a protagonist, focused on the present, to live it as a spectator.
That is to say, instead of experiencing the day to day and what happens to you, in your own flesh, you begin to have the feeling that you see everything from the outside, as if it were happening to someone else. And that is because, in reality, your mind is not focused on what you are living, but on what you have lived. Your attention is on something else, and hence that feeling of distance from reality itself.
You don’t enjoy the same
On the other hand, it is also true that, when our mind is “on other things” (on what ALREADY happened), our ability to enjoy the present decreases, precisely because our mind is not on it.
Although we have memories of the past and expectations for the future (and it’s good to have them), the truth is that the happiest people are those who really live in the present, and who are capable of enjoying it. Because, if you think about it, the present is the only thing that exists right now, don’t you think?
You may suffer from depressive symptoms
In depressed people, it is very typical that their mind is much more in the past (or even in the future, along with anxiety symptoms) than in the present. They are people who think a lot about what has already happened, what they did or did to them, etc.
And that, furthermore, they feel guilty for it, for what they did or did not do… For this reason, living anchored in the past can increase the risk of suffering from depressive symptoms, since we can easily go from nostalgia to melancholy and the sadness.
You experience the feeling that you are not moving forward
Another danger of getting stuck in the past is that we can experience the feeling of not moving forward. We feel that life passes in front of us, but our mind is not in it, but in the past and in memories.
We can also feel that only others are moving forward, and not us. And it is that perhaps, in that subjective sensation, there is also some reality. Because, if you think about it, can you really move forward when we don’t walk in our present? When everything we do is focused on thinking about what has already happened? It’s complicated!
How to reconnect with the present: key ideas
Do you feel like you are stuck in the past? Do you want to get out of it and start moving forward? How to reconnect with the present? Here are some key ideas that can help you:
Focus on what you are doing
A first tip that can help you focus on the present moment is something as easy (and at the same time as difficult) as it is to focus on what you are currently doing. Imagine that you are cooking; So focus on it.
The same if you run, walk, are with your partner or your friends, are watching a series… If your mind goes elsewhere (for example, to some memory, to what you “should” be doing, etc.), put it back in the action you are taking. It is a small practice of mindfulness that, if you do it on a recurring basis, it will cost you less and less to carry out.
Identify where your attention is going
The previous step allows us to focus on daily tasks, focusing our attention on the current moment, although it is focused on a more superficial level of our mind. If you want to take a step closer to reconnecting with the present, we encourage you to identify where your attention is going when you say that you feel like you are living in the past.
I mean, you feel like you’re stuck in the past, but where exactly? Where in the past? With what people, relationships or moments? What really “ties” you to the past? With this little introspection exercise you will be able to move on to the next idea that we propose to you.
Analyze why your mind is still there
Once you have identified the exact place where your mind is going (memories with an ex-partner, memories in another city, with another job…), we encourage you to analyze what cause or causes explain why you are actually more there than in the present.
Ask yourself: do you still feel for your ex-partner? Are you idealizing a past life? Do you miss someone? What doesn’t satisfy you about your present? Keep in mind that when our mind decides to travel and stay in the past, it is because the present does not satisfy it. Perhaps there you have another key to start working on this: identify what you don’t like about your present and try to change it.
Go through the grieving process
Grief is the natural reaction to loss, which allows us to adapt to the new reality; Many people who do not adequately go through their grief when suffering a loss (a breakup, the death of a loved one, moving to a new city…), can get stuck in the past.
For this reason, it is so important to ask for professional help if we feel stuck, since sometimes emotional accompaniment facilitates this stagnation in one of the phases of mourning.
Perform a ritual to let go
On the other hand, rituals are also very beneficial when we need to close stages and say goodbye. It is a way to honor what has been lived and to let go. Perhaps you need to close some stage, and therefore, a ritual can go well for you to let go and reconnect with the present and the future.
A ritual can be any action you choose; write a letter, burn a photo, keep a box with memories, put some candles in a corner, throw away an object related to that person or to that time of our lives, etc.
Look for illusions in the present
- Finally, another idea to avoid getting stuck in the past is to look for illusions (old or new) in the present. So we encourage you to investigate, in your day to day, what it is that still makes you vibrate or feel. Something that has to do with your current life, and not with what you already lived.
It can be anything: have a drink with a friend, call a loved one, join a hobby, read a good book, plan a trip… These small actions will help you reconnect with the illusion; After all, illusion is the hope for the future, and what allows us to live our reality more consciously.
- And you, do you live more in the past, in the present or in the future? If the answer is in the past, we encourage you to read the dangers that this entails and put into practice some of the proposed key ideas.
“The past has fled, what you expect is absent, but the present is yours.”
-Arabic proverb-