How much does it cost to say NO, right? Surely many times you have given in to insistence, blackmail or manipulation against your wishes, rights or interests. It is a communication failure, you lack assertiveness and, like many people, you have not been taught to say NO. Because we feel insecure, because we want the approval of others or because we have an inferiority complex, the fact is that many times we end up doing things we don’t want or shouldn’t. But we have a trick that will help you be more assertive. Do you know the broken record technique? It’s so you can say NO without feeling guilty. What do you say to me now?
What is the effective broken record technique?
- We have to go back in time to the time when we listened to vinyl records. Do you remember what happened when they broke down? That you could only listen to the same snippet over and over again. That’s a broken record and it’s also the technique that will help you say no without feeling guilty. How does it work?
- The broken record technique consists of repeating the same phrase to your interlocutor. And again. That sentence, of course, has to be a refusal to do something you don’t want to do, such as staying longer at work, going out for a few drinks, running an errand for someone else, or anything else you don’t think you like. corresponds and that also you do not want to do.
- You have to look for a short but forceful phrase where it is clearly seen that you are refusing. You do not have to give justifications (in most cases), just make it clear that no, that you are not willing to do it and that you are not going to do it. The speech must always be the same, do not vary it even if your interlocutor is changing his reasons and it seems ridiculous to you to keep the same sentence.
- You can try first with the sellers on the phone with a “I’m not interested, thanks”, or with those who knock on your door to offer you something you don’t want to buy. To each argument of the other person, keep the same sentence. It seems that we all have a limit against rejection, so there will come a time when the other person, seeing that you always maintain the same position and that you do not listen to reason, will give up.
- You lose nothing by trying, you can only win. Win in quality of life, self-confidence and self-esteem. This broken record technique is very effective because repetition gives strength to your decision while weakening that of your interlocutor. And if it works for you too?
Why is it so hard for us to say NO?
- Learning to say NO is one of the great challenges we face every day. Of course there are people who know how to do it, who know how to put their rights first, as well as their priorities, but we still have a lot of work to do. Has it not happened to you that on some occasion you have managed to say NO but then you have felt tremendously guilty?
- It should be easy to say NO, but it’s not. Hierarchical environments, self-esteem problems, inferiority complex, or need for approval are the main scenarios where blackmail, manipulation, or simply getting you to yield to another person’s wishes occur. Isn’t it time to learn to say NO without blame?
- You can try this broken record technique to improve your assertiveness and your social skills. At first it will be difficult, but little by little you will be able to gain confidence in yourself, you will feel powerful and, above all, free to make the decisions that are best for you. Because learning to say NO is not only an act of empowerment, it is also a declaration of intentions for freedom.