Communicating bad news to someone is complicated if you do not have the necessary social skills or methods to deal with that situation. Would you know how to face the moment of announcing the death of a relative to someone and how to comfort them so that they do not collapse and may even fall into depression? Or how to explain to your best friend that you have seen her boyfriend / her husband / her partner in the middle of a more than loving situation with another person without her thinking that you could be lying to her? These are difficult and harsh circumstances, in which it is difficult to find the right word and in which, in addition, it is important to maintain a firm position so as not to end up arguing or fighting with the other person. We give you 9 useful tips to knowhow to deliver bad news and face the fact naturally.
Guidelines for delivering bad news
“Announce with a hundred tongues the pleasant message, but let the bad news reveal itself,” wrote the British writer William Shakespeare. When we have to communicate something unpleasant or sad, we can follow the advice of the author of Romeo and Juliet or be brave, sit in front of the other person and, trying to hurt them as little as possible, give them that bad news. To make the situation less uncomfortable and more bearable for both parties, we have created a complete guide for you on how to break bad news.
Who should deliver that bad news?
When a negative circumstance is communicated, many factors must be taken into account, but perhaps the first and most important is to select who should be the bearer of this bad news. Many times due to being in a hurry and because we love and appreciate the other person, we assume that responsibility, but perhaps we are wrong. If the event is related to that person’s family environment and we are not part of it (we are simply friends, the best in the world, but friends), the best thing to do is for someone from their clan to sit down and talk with she. Also, depending on the seriousness of the facts, the help of a professional should be considered, someone with more experience in this field.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
No one is prepared to deliver bad news, just as no one is prepared to receive it. It is hard to listen and assume, for example, that a loved one is no longer with us or that a serious illness can suddenly end their life. Maybe we’re not ready to hear it, maybe we need time to take on so much pain. If you have to communicate news of these characteristics, think about how the other person is at that moment. Imagine that she was just fired from her company after 20 years working her ass off day after day, do you think that in her emotional state Would you put up with such an ad? Or another circumstance, you have to talk to a friend to tell her about something not very good that fully affects her, but you just found out that she is three months pregnant after two miscarriages, do you think that her moment of pregnancy could be jeopardized if Can you tell him something about that event? Perhaps it is better to wait until he is mentally or physically better.
The other person’s reaction
Something that can help you elaborate your speech is to imagine what that person’s reaction and behavior will be when they receive the news. You know well how she is and what her behavior can be, and that can help you design that strategy so that the ad is more or less bearable and causes as little damage as possible.
The importance of the right moment
Here you just have to use a little common sense. Do you think that in the middle of a celebration such as a birthday, baptism, communion or wedding there can be bad news? No, unfeasible. Do you think that a night out could be an optimal time to announce a circumstance of this nature? Neither, in any way. Look for a relaxed and relaxed environment, a situation in which you are both relaxed and where stress and rush are kept on a second level. Don’t start talking if you know he has to leave in a short period of time. What you have to tell him is something serious that his process needs, both to communicate it on your part and to assume it on his part.
And from the right place
In relation to the previous point, we find ourselves in the right place to deliver bad news. There is? No, it does not exist, but we can meet those who are more related to our mission. Find a neutral place, the one where there is no danger of distractions or where nobody can bother you; For example, if the other person has children, he tries not to do it at her house when the little ones are hanging around.
Get somewhere close
Once you drop this time bomb, everything might blow up. That person can start to shed tears non-stop and, then, more than ever he will need a shoulder to cry on, hands to hold and arms to shelter. Do you think that if you are each sitting in a chair with a table in between, it can facilitate a certain closeness and proximity? Not really. A piece of advice: before talking to her, find a comfortable sofa where you both feel comfortable and where she sits close to you. She will thank you very much! And, above all, she tries never to communicate that news when the two of you are standing up. Although you can anticipate what the other person’s reaction will be like, you can never predict if the shock will be such that she might get dizzy. or lose consciousness. If you are sitting, everything will be easier.
Prepare your speech
In a situation of this type, it is very important that you know what you are going to say. Take your time to prepare your speech, to choose the words you are going to use well, and even rehearse in front of a mirror so that everything goes more or less well. However, never forget that even if you have everything well prepared, you can never guess what she might say about it. Will she keep quiet? Will she start working out a lot of whys? Will she deny the evidence? Anything is possible!
Be direct
What is clear is that your language must be direct and that it will not help you to beat around the bush. With this we do not mean that as soon as you have her in front of you, you start talking non-stop, but it is not highly recommended that you beat around the bush. After a few minutes of brief conversation, she begins to treat the subject in a neutral and objective manner.
Do not be late
“Nothing travels faster than light than the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own laws.” This phrase by the English writer and screenwriter Douglas Adams helps us to realize that if we delay the moment of communicating this news for a long time, circumstances may overtake us, everything will rush and the other person will suffer much more. It is complicated, we never want that moment to arrive, but we must find the courage and the necessary strength and face it without fear. Regret what you do and not what you don’t do.