The way in which we relate to others says a lot about our emotional state. There are times in life when being happy seems too far away and due to different problems we act as if everything were a threat. Are you defensive? If everything has been bothering you lately, if you are losing friends, if your relationship is falling apart or family arguments are common, pay attention to the signs that you are on the defensive.
Signs that indicate that you are defensive
Some people live with a permanent shell that keeps others out, but most of us go through times when we are more sensitive or insecure and defensive.
It may be due to a disappointment in love, childhood trauma, unhealed wounds, stress, anxiety problems, or simply because the relationship with the other person is not good.
- When you are defensive you interpret words negatively
Surely it has happened to you more than once, that you meet someone and they say: “how good you look”. And you immediately think that she is either lying to you and you look horrible or that she is criticizing because your life is so easy that you don’t have any problems.
- Situations are also interpreted defensively
And not just words, you also interpret situations in a negative way. If you are invited to dinner you get a certain inferiority complex, if they give you your seat on the bus you feel too old or if your partner calls you to see how you are doing, you think he is invading your privacy.
- Beware of sarcasm
Being defensive is an attitude you don’t even realize, but watch out if you use sarcasm too much in your daily life. Do not confuse it with a sense of humor or wit, especially if you use that sarcasm to launch more or less subtle hacks at others.
- You don’t need explanations
People who are defensive do not need explanations, they prefer to interpret what happened in their own way and with that interpretation they stay. There is no communication, there is no possibility of forgiveness or an explanation because they already know perfectly well what has happened.
- Confuse debating with arguing
One of the greatest dangers of defensive people is in communication. We are not talking only about the couple, but about any type of relationship. If debate doesn’t exist for you, if any exchange of opinions ends in an angry argument, you may be on the defensive.
- Something personal
Being defensive hurts both you and others. One of the most obvious signs is that you take everything personally, with the feeling that the whole world is attacking you or that the universe conspires against you.
7.Criticism when your defensive
How do you take criticism? If you are on the defensive, it is possible that any comment they make to you about improving your performance at work or even if someone around you tells you that you look irascible, will hit you like a jug of cold water and end in monumental anger.
And you, are you defensive?