Gender diversity continues to be one of the main reasons for discrimination and inequality that affect many people. There are many types of negative acts that violate the rights of the members of the LGBT+ community, which is why numerous measures and actions are promoted to put an end to these situations and create an environment in which no one is differentiated for any reason.
Even so, there is still a long way to go and new scenarios are opening up every day in which a high percentage of the population does not know how to act or manage. In this article we bring you 14 useful tips to know how to act if a person tells you that they are trans. Pay attention to the action guides and leave your prejudices aside that we started.
14 keys to act if a friend tells you that they are trans
Listen to what he has to tell you and don’t judge ahead of time.
One of the most difficult moments, unfortunately, is when a person who is a member of the LGBT+ community has to declare their reality to their environment. Keep in mind that if this person has decided to tell you that her gender does not fit her imposed gender, it is because you are very important and trustworthy to him or her.
We recommend that you pay attention, listen to everything he has to say, do not stay exclusively with the news that he has just given you and use empathy to understand his situation.
Show interest and do not question its reality
Practice active listening, show your interest in what they are telling you and do not question what they are telling you, since it has been a premeditated decision and not taken from an impulse or a choice, that is, that person has come a long way to find out if he is trans or not. Keep in mind that it is one of the most difficult moments of his life, so you must make it easier for him and help create a sphere of trust and security.
Avoid making allusions to a possible confusion or vital stage
Never, under any pretext, affirm or make him understand that his reality is a phase that will pass or that he is confused or confused. We repeat that when a person identifies as a trans person, he does so from reflection, the search for his true gender identity and the discovery of his true self. The only confusion that occurs in this type of news is the one felt by the person who receives it, not the person reporting it, so it avoids perpetuating the myths that affect this reality and allows it to be expressed freely and fully.
He gives the treatment he deserves for the simple fact of being a person
Don’t change your perspective or the image you have because their gender doesn’t fit the one you’ve been perceiving since you met them. He is still the same person and deserves the same treatment, the non-violation of his rights or receiving any type of discrimination for it, since you would be carrying out transphobic acts. Treat that person as you have done during your friendship and do not allow your prejudices to make you lose their friendship.
Let him exercise his rights
Avoid restricting their freedom or their rights due to your lack of understanding or your intolerance. As a human being, he deserves to be respected and protected, without anyone or anything letting him know that he is less or that he deserves fewer rights than other people. In fact, you are expected to act like a good friend and show your support for him on the path he is about to take.
Find out to learn more about the trans reality and know how to act without offending
On many occasions, the pre-established ideas that we have received through a heteronormative education tend to be taken as absolute and universal truths. Go to appropriate places to find out, such as organizations or groups, learn through readings or talks, and learn about all the particularities that involve trans identities. Likewise, you must deconstruct all those ideas and relearn new ways of understanding diversity, respecting its identity, to offer the treatment it deserves without damaging its integrity. Likewise, you can obtain tools to know how to explain this and other realities to those who reject the LGBT+.
Ask those questions that you are not clear without harming
Keep in mind that there will be issues that specialized sites do not solve for you and you should ask your friend directly, for example if they are transgender or transsexual. Be cautious and do not ask trivial and absurd questions that could harm. Reflect on what you have learned or the information you have received, and ask questions respectfully. Even so, taking into account the trust and bond that there will be between the two of you, you can clarify that you ask the questions in order to offer them the treatment they deserve and to learn more about their reality.
Keep in mind that he has changed his identity, not his orientation
This is one of the points that arouses the most confusion among the hetero community, since ignorance of some aspects leads them to form erroneous opinions and ideas. Identity and orientation are totally different things, while orientation is the attraction you feel towards other people, identity is something more internal and the perception of yourself in relation to gender. So a trans person continues to feel attracted to the same type of person, only changing their gender. These types of thoughts are one of the most common ways to perpetuate homophobia and transphobia.
Deconstruct your stereotypes and prejudices about transsexuality
There are endless stigmas and prejudices around this reality, so you must remove each and every one of them, and approach this reality again. Do not let these ideas about transsexuality cloud your friendship and judge using wrong and false arguments. We recommend that, to begin with, you do not take into account the illness, the confusion or the stage of life in the comments that you direct towards your friend, and look for ways to end these arguments.
Be aware that they don’t necessarily need your help.
Many people believe that trans people need help or to be helped by others. Remember that he has only told you his reality and has not asked you for help. You should only offer it to him if he asks for it.
Speak naturally and offer them treatment according to their identity
Do not differentiate and continue offering the same treatment you gave before they communicated their new identity to you. In addition, you must carry out an exercise to show your support and respect their reality. We recommend that you address him or her as indicated, since it will be the first step for both or both of you to become aware of the situation.
Avoid damaging your self-esteem or attacks from others
Be careful with your actions or your words, and always watch over their well-being and the promotion of their self-esteem. Likewise, do not allow anyone to damage your integrity or be the object of transphobic attacks. Defend that person as you have been doing all your life.
Maintain their privacy and confidentiality, do not disclose their reality without their consent
This is a vital point for that person, do not break their trust and let them decide how, when, to whom and where to shout from the four winds that they are part of the LGBT + collective.
If you do not understand, accept or respect her reality, stay away, it will be the best for her
Have you made it clear? This key needs no further explanation. If you are an intolerant person with diversity, stay away, since it will only hurt you to know that your confidant does not respect your reality.
These are the 14 useful tips to know how to act if a person tells you that they are trans. In this article we want each and every one of the realities to have visibility and receive treatment according to their condition as human beings.